| | so heres when the stress comes in, I wanted to write and revise my paper by the 20th, it's the 17th, I wanted to get my paper to the teacher by Wednesday, I have 2 pages and I should be working on it more but alais I am not, though I should! I just don't have the drive right now, so whatever... it'll be done one way or another by Wednesday... now I'm waiting for Max to call, because Lauren said he was having ppl over to eat pie, and I guess when she tells me stuff that means I'm invited, but ya know I'm getting sick of this, if I'm invited I want the PERSON whom invited me to tell me, I just hate that I have to guess if I'm invited, like invite myself over, which is not that case, I would never do that... so whatever, I'm done, wheres my partner in crime?! we shall have things to discuss... and what do you get the girl who has everything? leave your thoughts... | comments: Leave a comment   |
| ANGER:
1. Who did you last get angry with? a few people
2. What is your weapon of choice? words, I'm good with words
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? yes because I don't like them
4. How about of the same sex? no I don't hit women
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? probably katie or lauren
6. What is your pet peeve? away messages, stupid people, tight clothes
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? depends
SLOTH:
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time? hm, walk the dog?
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? 1 pm but not in a few years
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't: well no one I've spoken to everyone I wanted to, this past weekend
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? for what?
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? sure
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in? thursday but I'm going today
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? once
GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? hm... nope none of those
2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat? dark please!!!!
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting? 2 beers no passover 4 cups of wine
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? no
5. Do you have an issue with your weight? kinda, I don't really understand where it came from
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? sweet and salty
7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, "LUNCH"? never!
LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? 2
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)? 2
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? lol yes
4. Have you "done it"? yes
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? yummmmmmy.. the 3 Bs
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? no
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? no
GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own? 0
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? forever 21
3. If you had one million dollars, what would you do with it? pay for my 12 years of school and save the rest
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? rich
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? sure why not
6. Have you ever stolen anything? yea stuff from resturants
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? zero
PRIDE
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? getting the grades I need to transfer and some day I'll be proud of my degrees
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? that I went to college and moved
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? my phd and md
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? no
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? no
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? nope
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? went to the gym
ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends' would you most want to have for your own? no comment.... but I'd like to have my memories deleted
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with? hm.... don't know
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? anyone....
4. Have you ever been cheated on? in a sense yes...
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? yes
6. What trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? hm... ablitity to get over stuff
What is your favorite deadly sin? gluttony
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
FAITH
1. What religion do you follow? jew
2. What religion were you raised as? born again christian
3. Do you believe that forgiveness is a religious property, or a human property? human
4. Do you believe in magic? hell yeah
5. What was the last promise you broke? wow, I dont know.... don't make promises often
6. Have you ever said the words to a prayer and not meant it? I don't think so
7. Do you believe that anyone could be perfect? close to it...
HOPE
1. Did you get everything you wanted over the last holiday season? yes I didn't ask anything
2. Regarding your future, what is the best thing you could hope for? my phd and md
3. Do you let yourself get your hopes up for something even if you know that there is a large chance of failure? yes
4. Do you believe in fate? yes but I can't stand it
5. Have you ever bought a lottery ticket? yes, on my 18th
6. Do you gamble? heck no
7. Have you ever had something called off on account of bad weather, but then went ahead and did it anyway? no
CHARITY
1. What causes do you support? RFBD, stem cell research, parkinsons research
2. What causes have you given money or time to? ^^^^^
3. Have you ever worked in a soup kitchen or done another kind of outreach for the homeless? a long time ago
4. Would you ever consider joining the Peace Corps, Amnesty International, or another travel-inherent worldwide charity group? yes
5. Do you give money to the homeless on the street? it depends on the situation
6. Have you ever helped out a friend with basic needs, like rent or food? yes
7. What's the greatest extent you've gone to help a friend in need? i try and do a lot for friends
FORTITUDE
1. What are you most afraid of? women, love, pain... dying alone
2. What did you do today that was really brave? nothing yet lol
3. Who is your favorite superhero? hm... don't have one
4. Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone? yes I'd die for certain people
5. If you were to face the Wizard, would you want more courage, more brains, or more heart? brains
6. Have you ever gotten stage fright? yes
7. Do you consider yourself to be a leader or a follower? leader
JUSTICE
1. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty? not yet thank gooodnesss
2. If they reinstituted the draft(for both genders)would you go? no way
3. Do you support capital punishment (the death penalty)? NO
4. Do you believe that Dubya is rightfully President of the USA? for now
5. What was your favorite media circus trial? hm... Jon Benet... OJ... don't know
6. Have you ever written a letter to a politician? no I'm not my gramma
TEMPERANCE
1. What do you have the hardest time moderating yourself on? my mouth
2. Do you collect anything? nope
3. Are you addicted to anything? you, chocolate, money
4. Have you ever put anything on layaway or used an installment plan? no
5. What's your preferred method of paying for things? cash or my debit card
6. Tell us one thing you wish you hadn't let yourself do? her... I wish I stopped myself
7. Do you feel that you obsess over things? once I start thinking too much yes
PRUDENCE
1. Who is the wisest person you know? hm wow.. there are a few
2. Have you ever participated in a vigil? no
3. Do you take advice when it's given? normally unless it doesn't follow what my heart feels
4. What area are you wisest in? lol...jen spigs can answer that
5. Do you drive defensively? yes
6. Have you ever had unprotected sex outside of marriage? no
7. What did you learn today? that I need a break from women and I'm not meant to be with her, I'm meant to be alone with my phd and my md and just live, earning money and someday I will have a wife and maybe a child and I'll provide for them because thats my goal... I learned I don't need to depend on anyone but myself | | comments: Leave a comment |
| and I'm not saying it was all good...
Friday night: what a bust... I hate life sometimes
Saturday: good day hung out with the Queen of doing nothing (I'm the princess), we had fun, talked and just laid around...
Saturday night: GREAT! lol I did have a lot of fun
Sunday: I had a talk with a certain someone, not all I wanted to say was said but its okay, its over now and thats good, I won't have to worry about her for sometime, because "we''ve obviously can't be friends"-bitch
there's too much history and I don't believe the lie they're living and seeing her beautiful face was too much... so I removed myself from her life, once and for all... maybe someday it'll be okay for us to be friends, maybe not. whatever
Sunday night: saw shark tales, what a bad movie..
and that's all I have to say about anything because I no longer wanna talk about stuff! I'm going to the gym then the FH game at 345 then who knows! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| "Look What You've Done"
Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to do
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I'm sorry I'm using both accounts but there are somethings I want Katie to see and others I don't, ya know? The people on here are also on Babygally so you'll get two different entries, some sensored stuff. There are things I want her to see and others I can't bear her to see ya know?
So I had a good weekend I hope you all did too. Friday night is the FOOOTBALL game, and I drempt of it last night, whoops. It was weird. I hope it kinda goes like that. We'll see. I'm not sure what she wants of me and I'm not sure what I want of me wanting of her.... does that make sense? I'm not sure it's the right time or the right place or anything but I know what my heart wants and I know what fate doesn't want. Or at least I think. I'm really just going along with the flow.
I should also say this...
I explained to Lauren that I made Katie out to be this huge bitch, but it was because I was hurting, so badly and I couldn't breath without her or sleep or anything but now I can, Katie truly is not a bitch, she did what she had to, to survive and I know we all would.
I'm not saying she isn't dumb and isn't ceasing the day but she's scared and I cannot blame her, the weight of possibly not having a family if choosing me, is too much. I do not agree with anything she's done or said to me, but I do know where they are coming from. I'm just trying to help you guys understand our relationship, friendship or otherwise. We've been together since before birth then after birth, we're like Romeo and Juliet, just my Juliet isn't so nice sometimes.
I just want to know if fate ever brings me and Katie back together that my friends will love me and be there for me.
I'm not sure why I'm saying this I just feel like I get yelled at every time I bring her up and I'm sorry I made her out to be a bitch that she only is sometimes.
Just thoughts in my head..........
My teacher is here... talk to you all later | | comments: Leave a comment |
| the debate was alright, Kerry did well, but whatever, I had a good conversation with a friend and I went to sleep and once again my dreams we're filled of Betsy and I don't understand it, I don't think of her and then I dream of her and my dreams are so strong, they feel real to me, like we've really had those conversations but I know we haven't. I hate it. I hate it...
In a little while I'm going to Planet Fitness to get a membership, then to the mall to get a pair of pants, after that it's lunch time, then work... I think I'm doing something with Lauren after that but who knows... tonight is the Habitat talent show and I'll be attending that.... so that's all....
I have a cold and I can't wait to get hot! lol | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Time: | 12:24 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/sleepy.gif) tired |
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| Got a 90 on my math test and comm. was good minus the fact that I feel like an idiot but, there is something about my teacher who makes me wanna work harder, I know in my 10 years of college ahead of me I will have be better, then every one, I will have to be the best of my up coming classes and I will have to work 300 times harder then anyone... I know what I want and I'm going to better then anyone... I will be amazing and work harder and listen better and become a better Pyschiatrist then anyone... mark my words...
I'm waiting around to get my oil changed, then grabbing something to eat, I tried to make homemade mac and cheese it didn't taste so good, so I'll get something, maybe... or I'll just come home and eat popcorn lol, doing my work, I have to read a chapter of my comm. book, do 20 more problems in math, and research some more.... oh the life of a college student, I plan on going to bed early tonight or at least I hope I can.. I get so tired...
so thats all... I'll be catching you all on the flip side... | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | so today was good.... school was great and hanging out doing nothing after school was greater! I went to AHS to see some friends before the field hockey game, it was nice to see everyone... the first half of the FH game not so good.... just wow... sorry girls... I had to leave along with Ash, Diana and Kate but we screamed really loud! so theres nothing really else to say... I'm missing someone and its very very strange because I didn't think it was this way... but ya know every one has to fuckin' tell me 'she's straight' well fuck you all.. I'm gonna think what I wanna think for once... so FUCK OFF... I just really am missing having a relationship and having someone to hold and kiss and bring flowers to and take out and sweet talk and call ya know? ugh whatever.... I'm off to do nothing.... talk to you kids later | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | I wish I had you, in my arms holding you tight, looking at me with those deep eyes, that amazing body under me, that amazing mane in my hands. you are amazing and how badly I want to hold you and kiss you. someday I will find someone like you, or better, but I doubt better. I just wish I had you in my arms, your sexiness. your virginness. you. only you. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| so children I'm a little frustrated today, why you may be wondering? Because I woke up and there was a message on my IM asking for.... what? A RIDE!!!!! I don't mind giving rides, I just am a little stressed today, I have a paper due, well the first draft and I'm on the 3rd and I just need it to be perfect and I have a test tomorrow, which if I don't study I will more then likely pass but with like a 70. Thursday I have another test, math but I'll pass that with my eyes closed. I'm just stressed because I'm suppose to be at reading from 3-5 so I changed it to tomorrow from 5-7 and I'm working 2-5 tomorrow and Thursday 12-5 and Friday 12-5. I'm just stressed because I feel like I have a lot going on. I have this paper that NEEDS to be perfect and if it's not, well then we won't talk about that because it will be. I was gonna do my paper yesterday but Lauren called and I went to Max's before Ilana's, then I was at Ilana's till 9. Then I was online til 1015 with Jen, Liz, Ilana, Katie, Kevin, etc etc... ugh...
I know I know I'm suppose to have priorities and stuff but I feel bad saying the word 'no', I said I wouldn't deny her and I can't just change that right now, once I go to Southern then RI it'll all be different but until then I guess I just have to deal. So I'm sorry for bitching and stuff I just needed to get a little frustration out.... | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | I can't stand this, I can't get past the pasted and I can't get to the future because of my heart and my memories. I wish I could hold on to tonight and hold onto the laughter and the smiles and flirting. I wish I could hold on to the thought of a life without you, but your crying out to me and I just want to take you in my arms and hold you... unfortunetly its you and it's always been you... now I'm going to go to sleep and look toward something else of this life... | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | I'm in class and waiting for the teacher to go over the in class assignment so I felt like updating... all is good in my world.. I watched Better then Chocolate last night and it was amazing as always... and today I have a great day planned... I have my classes and between my classes I'll go to Dunks (liz) and get a muffin then try and find a marshals or something and get a pair of pants and some long sleeve shirts.. then its off to composition... then I'll call Chris and see how he is... I'll head home after that and do some hmwk and nap!!!!! I'll wake up and shower and go to Ilana's.. woooot.. ::wink:: so I'm off...teacher is going over stuff | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | SO now you're single and I can't control my head or my heart. Why? Because I've always held the hope that we'd be together, and now that you're single my mind is running away with itself and I can't control it. You are not the one I need right now nor the one that can make me happy right now, or are you? God I don't know! This blows because all I want is you, to hold you, to touch you, etc etc, or do I just want that with any women? But you. oh you. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| last one I promise...
so I have a problem, I don't like where I'm living, mainly because of my stupid stepmother. if it was just me and dad I'd be fine, I have a job and I'm going to school but I can't stand my step mom, she doesn't give a rats ass about me or my wellfair. I can't stand it, I can't fuckin' stand it. I can't go to my moms house because I'm not 100% welcome because she and George are happy without me there, and dads happy with Margery and sometimes me, but I just wish I lived on my own, in a place that I could call my own. I'm not 100% miserable I just don't feel welcome in any house, like I have to ask before I eat or I have to walk on egg shells. I hate it. I hate living with her and I hate him being a jackass with her around, ugh this hurts me. Okay I'm done bitching. My New Year is great! | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | happy new year to me! woooot! I'm starting it off right!!!! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| so I don't feel appericated... I have one sided relationships... ppl can call me screaming and bitching but I couldn't do the same to them... what the fuck?
ps its over! WOOOOT... thats all
wanna know everything I feel? TALK TO ME | | comments: Leave a comment |
| As tonight drudges on all I can think of is her, her hair, her smile, her laughter, every thing about her, and as much as try to fight the image of her in my head it continues to enchant me. She is not the one I want nor is she the one I need. I think I need her or want her because for lack of a better word, she's easy. Easy for me, easy to go back to, easy to relay on; she's easy because she loved me. She's easy because I won't have to put myself out there and search and date and deal with the crap of others, she's easy because she knows me inside and out, what else could you want? Something more lasting, something uplifting as she was in the first months, as I know she can be.
To me she became a monster but I know the truth lies in her heart and I know unfortunitly the truth in mine; if given the chance, am I strong enough to say 'No' like I should've that first night? Will I be able to deny her, when I said I'd never deny her? Is my will strong enough for the wanting of someone else? Or do I just want something here and now and I don't care what it is? What if she approaches me with the offer? How do I say no, when she makes me weak in my knees?
How can I stare her in the face and say 'no' when I told her 'as long as there is breath in my body she'll never go without'? How do I do it? I'm not saying it has happened, but the thought is in my mind tonight. As I am feeling unapperciated by a certain someone and all I can see are the intimate details of our life together. THerefore feeling unapperciated I feel like I need to reach out for someone to appericate what I do for them. I don't do these things for just every one. I wish you could see that. But this isn't about you, it's about her.
The thoughts in my head are emense and horrible because I know what I cannot do and that is allow myself to be in love with or love a monster. Not a monster in my mind but in my heart, it is real and I cannot allow myself to slip back in. But I cannot say I'm strong enough to stop it. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I don't know when that last time I updated was and I don't know what the last thing I said was, so here I am by popular demand, in class! LOL... I'm waiting for my computer teacher, its 835 and shes not here, I think we should start class at 9 instead of 830 this is bullcrap... turkey! so nothings too new, ppl sleeping over friday night, saturday night crew stuff cancelled due to lack of enthusiasm.. which is fine we'll just hang out at my house another weekend whatever....
so nothing great, expect school, its great, I do love it and I do love all the work I have, I like being busy but not too busy, ya know? things are good good good... I'm mucho tired but I get paid today! woooot okay I think my teacher is coming (highly unlikely) talk to you kids later!
LOVE YOU
and have a great day! | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| now that that's over, where is the women I will buy roses for? and kiss and love and make happy? when will she come again? when will she be in my arms again? when just when?
curly brown hair, green eyes, 5'9" 160-70, beautiful skin, smart, sexy, sweet, etc etc... god.... my sweet angel, where are you? princess...
I get signs all the time and I want them to be true... okay... I love you who ever you are... just find me soon | | comments: Leave a comment |
| haha so I'm talking to Kevin and we are discussing how great this weekend was... esp. last night, and I have the toes to prove it.... god we had a great time, laughing, kissing, boobs, clothes changing, boys kissing, cake, dinner, presents, talks, hugs, humps, almost dying, Flavia, cran juice, pepsi, Lauren's weird way of eating chips, the hunger morning, phone calls, bugs, my husbands, ugh my toes, drama, love, anger, god what a great night.... the moonbounce: what happens in the moonbounce, doesn't always stay in the moonbounce! lol........god it was great!!!!! that should happen more often!
B: there was nothing
K: ya same with me and max lol | | comments: Leave a comment |
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